I nearly lost my shit today

But I didn’t.

Day SEVEN of THIRTY days of writing every day,

Today I had my first, “What kind of toddler parent are you trying to be?” moment.

He set down the blueberry smoothie to start munching on his piece of cheese. The smoothie was all but gone so when he initially moved on from it, the pouch was pretty compressed.

That didn’t last long.

This is a build up to share with you the moment you’ve probably already been through — the transition from mothering a baby to mothering a toddler.

I’ve seen this unfold for years. I’ve watched my friends transition through motherhood in their unique ways. I’ve had the privilege of having the time to gather notes and here is what I know.

TODDLERS ARE EMOTIONALLY UNREGULATED.

So in that moment, when he took his hand and smashed it down onto the now air filled pouch resulting in an overspray of blueberry yogurt all over my back door, wall, and floor…. my own emotional regulation was tested. There was a split second where my body tensed. I wanted to react. But right before words left my lips, I felt a moment of clarity on the person I want to be and I stopped.

I didn’t say anything. I took a second to think. What was probably only 10 seconds of thinking felt like a lifetime flashing before my eyes.

RIGHT BEFORE GIVING MYSELF PERMISSION I THOUGHT, “HE’S JUST A BABY. HE HAS TIME. LET ME TAKE IT.” And a series of thoughts pinged in my mind.

“That mess sucks. And it sucks I have to be the one to clean it. And it suck’s that it’s purple.”

(He’s munching on cheese and finger painting blueberry smoothie on his high chair.)

Then I thought, “Why did he do that?” To which I thought, “I don’t know… looks pretty fun to me.” And there it was. Direction. Cue more thinking.

(I swear the whole thought process was less than 10 seconds… but again… this is a big moment!).

I knew why he did it — he’s a toddler who is exploring the world. I didn’t need to ask him.

But I did need to work towards his development. I didn’t want him to learn that what he had just done was “fun” just as much as I didn’t want him to learn that it was “bad” or cause for concern. I did want to teach that his hitting the pouch caused a mess and that messes are to be cleaned up, especially when we are the ones who made them.

So here is what I thought I was going to say, “You made a mess and now we have to clean it.”

BUT HERE IS WHAT I SAID INSTEAD…

“You hit the pouch. It sprayed smoothie on the wall. That is a mess. We will clean it with a wipe.”

And that was it. Sort of. Because now you’re probably wondering, “Where did you put the pouch?”

I held it.

I told him since there was still smoothie in the pouch and he was prioritizing play, I would be holding the pouch and that he may ask for it when he would like a sip of it.

So he did. When he wanted smoothie, it was right there and waiting for him… controlled with Momma’s adult hands. 🤣

After he was done and it was time to clean up I got up with the smoothie pouch, knocked it out of my hand, it landed on the floor and splattered EVERYWHERE. I laughed. And after thinking, “How is there smoothie left in there?” I thought…

“That was the most powerful 10 seconds I’ve ever invested.”