You’ll Fuel What You Feed

Dear Airbnb Host,

I get it. You’re trying to meet the expectations of your ideal renter. I pitch to women in business about ways they can be seen all the time— narrowing in on your target market is one of those ways.

But I have one little question for you, Airbnb host 👉 who tf are you trying to satisfy?

As someone who has had her fair share of camping on the ground, I can say the beds here are no softer than the ground outside.

My son ended up sleeping soundly in the main suite. In his pack & play. Which probably had more give than the king-size “bed” right next to him. Fred Flintstone would have chosen to sleep on the couch…which is exactly what Evan and I decided to do for three of our four night vacation.

Also, your dishwasher sucks, and the kitchen sink doesn’t get hot. The living room curtains aren’t meant for the rods you have them on, so they’re hard to pull. And you have so much decor in every nook and cranny that it’s nearly impossible to unpack our stuff.

Yours in shoulder-numbing pain,

Angela

HOW MANY STARS SHOULD I RATE THE CONDO?

The letter above is one fueled by emotional snowballing. If I were to send or post that, while true, it wouldn’t do anything but make me heard by the wrong people. People who, instead of reading reviews to prepare for bed firmness, are just there looking for validation for being pissed off themselves.

I don’t need the condo owner to hear me. I need future guests to hear me… and not the guests who are committed to being upset.

The condo didn’t affect my ability to have a great vacation, but it did affect my desire to rent this place again. It did affect my sleep. So while I’ll leave out the weight of how something as simple as a bed allowed me to become so petty that I complained about the curtains, I will let others know how the beds affected our comfort.

I’ll leave the emotion out of my review because it says more about me than it does about this condo if I provide anything other than facts.

I told Leland this when he couldn’t decide if he wanted to eat or play 👉 “You’ll fuel whatever you feed.”

It’s true in lots of contexts. I could double down and let the discomfort of these beds fuel an emotional, Petty Betty manifesto. Or I could proceed with a reasonable effort toward resolution.

So that’s what I’ll do.

When writing my review, I’ll include these points 👉

• all the things we liked, including (but not limited to): communication, proximity, size, view, location, price point, kitchen options for cooking, air conditioning, and the luggage carts

• the major, most likely-to-not-change things that could reasonably impact someone else’s stay: the bed firmness, and that the neighbors above us and the pool area could be loud at times during the night

• offer additional feedback via DM and wait to see if there’s an investment in the feedback before opening a discussion about things that would improve the guest experience but aren’t impactful enough to complain about publicly. I wait for a response before investing any more time thinking about the small things that added up for us after the bed firmness issue because I want to know the feedback isn’t falling on unwilling ears. The things I’ll mention are: how cluttered the surfaces and cabinets are, the dishwasher, and the lack of hot water in the kitchen sink.

I take referrals by word of mouth very seriously. I don’t like to refer someone I haven’t personally used or experienced. If I do, I lead with, “Reach out to XYZ for ABC. She might be able to help! People rave about her.” Or “she advertises with xyz!” Or "She knows so-and-so." Just facts.

Referrals, reviews, and networks work the same way— they help the right people find the right places. But it only works if everyone is willing to tell facts as facts and experiences as experiences.

For someone, this condo is the best place they’ve ever vacationed. And I respect that. For us, this condo holds great beach memories, which is really what we came here for, but without the space to pack our own mattress topper, we won’t be renting this place again.

What did you think about DAY FOUR of THIRTY DAYS of writing? Can you relate to a time where you felt lots of emotions at once and felt conflicted with what feedback to give?