What to Say When You Walk Into the Room

For a long time, I knew one thing for sure: I needed to be in rooms with other people.

Not just scrolling. Not just listening to podcasts. Not just working alone behind my laptop. Actual rooms. Rooms with conversations, ideas, skills, questions, and people building things. But there was one small problem that no one really talks about.

When you finally get in the room… What do you actually say?

Most people default to the same question:

“So… what do you do?”

And while there’s nothing wrong with that question, it often leads to the same predictable exchange: “I’m a photographer.”“Oh cool. I’m a designer.”“Nice to meet you.” Conversation over.

Again, the problem isn’t the room. The problem is that most of us were never taught how to open a real conversation. And if the goal of being in the room is connection, collaboration, or learning — then the goal of your introduction isn’t to talk about yourself for five minutes. The goal is to open the door for the other person to talk.

A SIMPLE WAY TO INTRODUCE YOURSELF

When you meet someone new in a room, your introduction only needs three things:

✏️ Your name

✏️ What you’re currently working on

✏️ A question that invites them in

For example:

“Hello! I’m Angela Hoppe; I'm working to build an action focused coworking room for women, called Collab Lab, so I'm super excited to see what topics create discussion today. What kind of work do you find yourself most excited about right now?”

Notice what happens there? You gave context about your work — but then you immediately handed the conversation back to them. That’s the entire goal.

THE SECRET TO BETTER CONVOS

The best networking conversations are not driven by statements. They’re driven by questions. But the type of questions you ask to create curiosity matters.

If you want people to open up, you should think about asking questions that begin with what or how. Those questions invite reflection and explanation.

“Why” questions often feel personal or defensive, especially with someone you just met (so you'll get surface level answers). And "yes-or-no" questions tend to stop the conversation instead of opening it.

Instead, try questions that invite people to think out loud.

QUESTIONS THAT OPEN UP CONVOS

Here are a few that work beautifully in professional rooms. Think about your response ahead of time. When you share your story you give others the space to share theirs too.

What kind of work are you most excited about right now?

This question immediately shifts the focus to energy and interest, not just job titles. People light up when they talk about work (or organizations) they enjoy, not their stats and scoreboard.

What kind of clients or projects do you love working with most?

This gives you insight into their strengths, their preferences, and where collaboration might exist. It also tells you how they see their own work.

What does a really good work week look like for you?

This question moves beyond surface-level business talk. People often answer with things like: “Honestly? When I get to spend most of my time creating instead of emailing.”

Now you’re talking about how they actually work. And it's probably in their jammies, just like you.

How did you end up doing what you’re doing now?

This invites a story. Stories are where real connection happens.

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What are you hoping to learn or find in rooms like this?

This question is incredibly useful because it reveals what they’re looking for. It might be collaboration. It might be referrals. It might be clarity.

Now you understand how the room might serve them — and whether you can be part of that success.

THE GOAL OF THE ROOM

A lot of people walk into rooms thinking they need to impress people. They feel pressure to explain their business perfectly or deliver the most interesting elevator pitch. But the people who build the best connections aren’t the ones talking the most.

They’re the ones making space for other people to talk.

Curiosity does that.

Listening does that.

Good questions do that.

And when someone feels seen or understood in a conversation, something subtle happens. Trust starts to form.

ONE LAST REMINDER

Rooms don’t create connection. Participation does.

Participation doesn’t mean dominating the conversation or pitching your business. Sometimes participation simply means asking a thoughtful question and listening to the answer.

Because the truth is, most people don’t need you to impress them. They need you to notice them. And that’s usually where the best conversations begin.

If you’ve been following along in this series about rooms and connection, I hope it’s helped you think differently about the spaces you enter.

Not every room will be the right one. But when you find the right room — and you know how to participate in it — the experience can change everything.

[Visit the Angela Hoppe Collaborative Calendar to RSVP for the next Collab Lab!] ->