Would you notice if I were hungry? Building Business Relationships without Selling

If you walked into a restaurant and never prioritized eating, would you still be fed?

It depends on who is sitting at the table.

That's what building a network offers -- an opportunity to feed others so when it's your turn, there are people who notice your hunger.

Networking is not about selling. It's not about what you can get out of other people. It's about creating deep, strong roots that pay off during a drought.

STOP BUILDING WIDE AND FOCUS DEEP.

If you're unsure how to build business relationships without selling yourself, let me let you in on a few tricks I've learned over the past 7 years building a profitable service based business.

Day 14 of 30 days of writing every day.

MANAGE YOUR EXPECTATIONS

Before you show up somewhere, know why you're there and what you're willing to contribute.

Are you there to make a sale? To make a friend? To observe the way people in the room operate?

Knowing why you're there in the first place will help you determine if it was worth the investment of time, money, or effort. Skip this step and you'll find yourself full of inspiration with no traction… or worse, fully disappointed.

Sometimes you're in the room to build your network, sometimes you're there to support it. The only thing you know for sure is everyone is probably there for a different reason.

SHARE YOUR SHIT

When you share your perspective, you give other people a space to share theirs. When two people feel safe, they connect and seek out that safety in the future.

But that's not as easy as it sounds. What do you talk about? How do you share authentically without word vomiting every struggle you encounter on a daily basis?

You prepare questions to ask them. This doesn't just give you an opportunity to stay in front of the topics being discussed, it's an opportunity to create space.

HERE'S HOW

Having a handful of questions you've already considered yourself gives you a unique opportunity. After you ask a question, there's a blip of time where the recipient either considers the question and is considering a thoughtful answer or panics because such a potentially complex question has been asked at all.

When you're networking, that blip after asking questions is important. It answers a few questions 👉

1. How open is the person to engaging in connection? Someone who is looking to connect will respond differently than someone who may just be there to observe the room.

2. How much of this conversation will you need to lead? Does that meet your expectations with what you're willing to give, considering why you're in the room?

The second question is easy. You stick the "How's the weather," "What do you do?" "Where are you from" questions and move on. Always give whatever you can, yes, but this is about managing your time, money, and effort wisely.

The first question is where people lose steam. You've determined the person in front of you is willing, but you're unsure how to keep the momentum.

If someone seems engaged and enthusiastic to be conversing with you but stumped by the question you ask, here's what you say 👉

"DO YOU WANT ME TO TELL YOU MY ANSWER WHILE YOU THINK OF ONE TO TELL ME?"

Some people will sigh at the pressure you just released from the space. Other people will thank you and answer in time. The right people won't get done answering the first few questions before you're not even on topic anymore.

That's how authentic connection happens.

It starts with an open door and ends with glitter-filled craft project that you'll never forget.

All you have to do is be willing to create space, think about things deeper than the weather, and share them with others. That is what it means to be visible, valued, and connected.

If you want business relationships without constantly selling, stop measuring every interaction by what it produces for you.